Today ends my first week in college. A sentence I never thought I would have the privilege of saying. However, I would be lying if I said it was easy.
There are so many thoughts that come to me as I walk on campus or try to do my homework. There's quiet a variety to what I think.
Usually it sounds something like this...
"I love my roommate we get a long so well, I'm glad this worked out."
"I feel so privileged to be at a University to learn! Especially knowing why I want to be here."
"Wow, home is only 25 minutes away instead of 2,500 miles away. I can visit almost whenever I want!"
Or I might have other drastic thoughts such as...
"Why am I doing this? This is hard? I should quit"
"I forgot how hard it can be to make friends. Maybe I should just commute to campus."
"Did God want me in college or was this just my decision?"
"I just want to sleep and watch movies. I want a break"
"I just finished a three and a half year journey of almost constant traveling, maybe I should've started next semester."
"Don't give up, keep speaking truth into your life. Satan is dumb and annoying, I can do this by the grace of God."
As you can see I've had a lot of opportunities to keep speaking truth to myself. The moments that become hardest though remind me of a couple I stayed with for one night, that have made a lasting impression on me. We (Life Action Road Team) were in Charleston, SC for the night and a church we had been with the year before set up host homes for us that night.
An elderly couple I had never met volunteered to keep two girls in their home. They were very nice, we stayed up late chatting, and we were up early chatting again. However, it wasn't until we were getting in the car to leave that my host dad said something I've never forgotten. It was something to the affect of, "Girls, life is hard and the older you get, the harder it becomes. Keep your focus and trust in God."
To which my host mom, was embarrassed for him not having said something nice, encouraging, or sweet to wish us goodbye. However, I have often thought of what he said.
In the short two years it's been since he said that to us, these have been some of the most trying times in my life. At some of the most discouraging moments I would remember sitting in the car with the door open, a nice elderly man standing in front of me saying, "Life is hard, and the older you get the harder life becomes... focus and trust in God."
So even though, he did not wish us a general or cliche kind of goodbye... He spoke truth.
And that truth, has meant so much more to me, than all these fluffed up (yet truthful) God has a plan for you goodbyes. For that, I'm grateful.
His honesty was something that didn't give me false hope, it put reality in place, life is hard. However, it also reminded me of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says,
"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."
I know God's opened so many doors for me to be here. I'm here for a purpose, even though I can't see that purpose, I have to continue to trust Him. Fighting back against lies that I come across or I'm tempted to believe.
It's only the beginning of school, I know as I get into the groove of this new chapter everything will be much smoother and better. I just wanted to give you some truth today and remember that Christ loves you, he sees where you are, but He won't give you anything you can't handle with His grace.